OLD VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE OLD STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away on twitter.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
TV1,2 & 3 News, and Campbell Live show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The country is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Cunliffe appears on Campbell Live with the grasshopper pointing out the growing gap between rich and poor and everybody cries.
The Green Party stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where
the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome” and waving placards with dolphins on them. Green Party co Leader Metiriea Turei condemns the ant and blames John Key ,
Rob Muldoon , Roger Douglas , Capitalism and Global warming for the grasshopper’s plight.
Hone exclaims in an interview with TV News that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Dotcom is unavailable for comment because he is throwing a pool party for 20 year old girls in Coatesville.
Finally to gain votes to win an election, the Government drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retrospective to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to consider how his hard work and preparation has affected the Grasshoppers Mana and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated under the Government Land Repo Act and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government confiscated house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn’t maintain it.
The ant has disappeared to Australia, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a Drugs related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who cook P and terrorize the once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.
Source unknown.